The other time I advised guys who are still single and looking to settle down. Today I want to advice single ladies. Below are things you should take into consideration when you are thinking of settling down as a lady.
(1) Settle down with someone you love: Love should be your number one reason for settling down with a man. Do not settle down with a man mainly because he’s rich. Because he’s the person you will spend the rest of your life with, under the same roof. So if there is no love then you will find yourself getting bored with the marriage, or harbouring thoughts of cheating on your husband. It is always better for the man to love his wife more than she loves him because a man’s love tend to fade more easily while a woman’s love mostly grow stronger over time, but still you should have almost equal love for him. A marriage without love is likely to end faster.
(2)Do not be in a hurry or be desperate to settle down: Desperation will make you settle for any man just because you are scared of clocking 30 or 40 years as a single lady. If a man is not your speck and you have no love for him, do not settle down with him just because age is not on your side. The people pushing or pressuring you about settling down are not the ones that are going to spend the rest of their lives under the same roof with the man you marry. Maybe God’s plan for you is for you to meet you soul mate, the perfect man for you at the age of 35, but because you were in a hurry, you ended up settling down with the wrong man at the age of 27 and now you are going through hell in your marriage. Be patient, and most importantly trust God.
(3)Be ready to compromise: As much as it’s advisable to marry the man of your dreams, it’s also ridiculous if your criteria for the man of your dreams is too high. Some girls want a rich, handsome, God fearing, caring, romantic, tall, light skinned, brilliant man with a good sense of dressing. And they are not ready to compromise, if they meet a man with all those qualities and he’s not rich or light skinned, they refuse to compromise. Or if he has all the qualities but he’s not tall with a good sense of dressing, they refuse to give him a chance. It’s very rare to find a man with all the qualities you want in your man. And do not base your ideas for a perfect man on how perfect you think your friend’s boyfriend or husband is, or how perfect you think some girls’ men are. You do not sleep in the same room with those girls, you have no idea what they have to tolerate from their men. Do not be carried away by the perfect picture they paint out for you to see. Their men could be cheats, stingy, or even hitting them behind closed doors but they will cover it up. Nobody posts pictures or videos of their bad moments. Everybody claims to have the perfect marriage, husband and home. Do not get carried away. Your boyfriend that receives a salary of 120k could be willing to spend more on you or love you more or be faithful to you more than your friend’s man that receives a salary of 400k. Some ladies buy gifts for themselves and claim their men bought the gifts, just to make other girls envious.
(4)Do not over look the little signs: If you notice that your boyfriend is violent, acts suspicious and you suspect that he could be a womanizer, tends to treat you terribly when he gets a huge amount of money, likes to spend on irrelevant things, have no respect for women, pls run. You can try to change him or make him a better man while you are just dating, but do not make the mistake of thinking you can marry him and then change him or he will change once you marry him. For your information, he’s likely to get worse after marriage. Men are mostly of their best behaviour to a woman while they are still just dating. After marriage, they know you have nowhere to go so they show their true selves.
(5)Do not try to tie a man down with pregnancy: There is no dignity in forcing a man into marriage by getting pregnant internationally. If the pregnancy comes by mistake then that’s understood. But don’t plan it with the intention that he will marry you. He might not and you will remain a single mother for the rest of your life, no husband in your life to assist you and help you raise your kid in a happy matrimonial home. And you will limit your chances of meeting the man God destined for you, because most men in our country do not buy the idea of marrying a lady with a kid out of wedlock. Even when they want to, they get discouraged by their family members. And even if the father of your child marries you, he’s not really doing so voluntarily, you forced his hand cos you got pregnant and he had to marry you. In some cases the marriage goes on smoothly. In most cases he just marries you and keeps at home and goes on living his life, sleeping with other girls, not giving you the love, attention and care you want, he can say after all, you forced my hand to marry you and since marriage is what you desperately wanted, I’ve granted your wish, can I go on living my life now?
(6)Do not make life changing decisions for a man that is yet to marry you: Do not move from one town or city or country to another or quit a job or get pregnant or bleach your skin or add weight or start smoking, or allowing him to ejaculate in you all the time and you have to take birth control pills( postino 2) to prevent pregnancy, (continuous intake of birth control pills have serious side effects) for a man that is yet to marry you. Be yourself and focus on yourself. Put yourself and your interests first. Until he marries you, he has no right to decide what you do with your life or your future. If he prefers light skinned ladies, or fat or thin girls then let him go out their and find one. If a man does not want to marry you, even if you change your name to the name of his choice, change everything about you, he will still not marry you. The God that created you the way you are, already have a man for you. A man that loves his woman just the way you are. He’s out there and at the right time, God will cause you both to meet. Do not change your body or change something about your life and make it difficult for that man to meet you.
(7)Marry a man you have at least a few things in common with: When you have things in common, like you both like to travel, or you both like to work out, or you both like fashion, or you both like to take risks and do new things, or you both love football or love to drink, it’s usually easier for you to remain friends and have a strong bond as a couple. You will have a lot of things you do together and that can make your marriage much more fun. If you marry a man you have nothing in common with, you will have a very boring marriage. You will find yourselves doing nothing together, nothing for fun that you both enjoy.
(8)Have something to do for money: Do not go into marriage relying totally on your man for everything. If you do not have a job then start up a business. Do not listen yo your man if he says you dnt have to work, he will take care of everything. There are businesses you can do from home as a married woman. But by all means, do not rely completely on your man. He loves you so he wnt mind, he will be ready to do everything for you but he will definitely get tired after some couple of years. Especially if he sees other women or sees his friends’ women doing something to support their men. And men rarely respect idle women that depend on them for even money for undies. He will start treating you terribly and feel there is nothing you can do and you can’t even stay mad at him for anything he does since you will eventually have to ask him for money for one thing or the other. And it’s not cool for your kids to grow up knowing that they can’t ask mummy for anything, only daddy can provide for them.
(9)You have to go into marriage knowing that you can not always bring your family, your friends or strangers into your issues with your husband. It’s advisable to have someone to talk to about your issues so you can get them off your chest. But it’s better you confide in one or 2 family members. Or one true friend. Always try to settle your issues between you and your man. Involve as less people as possible.
(10)Go into marriage knowing it’s for better for worse, there are no breaks from marriage and there will always be issues and you have to tackle each issue as a couple and be ready to be understanding and supportive of your husband.