I always find myself loving a man that does not love me, instead I am being adored by those I don’t love. Sometimes, I end up with the wrong person. What should I do?
You need to take your time and really study or analyse any guy that approaches you before dating him. The reasons you keep finding yourself with the wrong men could either be because you are looking for or attracted to the wrong qualities in men. For example, if you are attracted to guys with “swag” then it may take you a long time to find a decent man. And you also have to understand that no man is 100% perfect, don’t expect to meet a tall, handsome, God fearing, romantic, well to do man that will love you exactly the way you want. If he’s handsome and rich with class, then chances are that he’s
a womanizer or he doesn’t really love you. If he is God fearing and romantic, then chances are that he may be boring and not exposed. You can hardly find the whole good package in one man. You see a girl with a tall handsome guy that’s rich and you start wondering why you can’t find that type of man. What you don’t know is, maybe that guy is not as perfect as she makes him look. Maybe behind closed doors he nags at her a lot, or he even hits her, or he cheats secretly. So, my advice to you is, stop looking for “Mr perfect“.
What you should be more concerned with is the man that loves and adores you, and also posses the essential qualities you value. If you don’t like his dress sense, you can change him, if he’s boring you can change him and make him more lively. Just know one thing, it’s only a man that loves you so much that can agree to change for you. And only a man that loves you more will do anything you want, and he wont cheat on you. Also, its always better to settle down with a man that loves you more than you love him. So that even if you give birth and lose your beauty he will still adore you. If you marry a man that doesn’t love you so much, you will regret it later in life, because men fall out of love faster, and start desiring other women. My point is, don’t only go for guys that you love and they fit your description of a perfect man. Be more concerned with who loves you deeply and adores you.
Don’t be desperate to settle down or to be in a relationship, take your time to look for the right man that loves you with all his heart. For the mean time, concentrate on improving yourself, work on your physical attraction and also, if you don’t already have a job or a business then get one. Don’t be idle, men like ambitious women. No matter how small the scale is, just start something. Even if it’s buying and selling. You can even combine business with work if your work is not too time demanding. The right men will be attracted to you if you are more focused in life, determined, ambitious and successful. Don’t be too clingy, and all over a man. Let him be the one all over you, he will respect and value you more for that.
And if you happen to find yourself with someone who is a cheap and liar, I suggest you put a temporary break to the relationship for now if he really loves you or wants you then let him work on himself and change. Don’t call or see him during this break. If he refuses to change and moves on without you then that means he was never meant for you, that should be good riddance to bad rubbish. It means your real future husband is still out there, the one God prepared for you. And you are just yet to meet him. Remember, not every woman is destined to marry in their young age. Some were destined by God to meet the perfect guy and get married when they are matured and more experienced. The truth is, the guy has to change before you can even start considering marrying him. The average man usually tries to be at his best behaviour before marriage so he can impress his woman, once the woman comes in, there’s no pressure anymore on the man to be a ‘good man.’ So, he starts misbehaving and showing his true colours. So, if he’s not a good person now then he will be worse after marriage.
Hope this helps.